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I’m starting to feel a little left out of the Christmas Knitting Panic. I made a conscious decision, round about the beginning of November, that I was not going to knit any presents this year. I’ve only been knitting since September - promising presents this early in the game was just waaaay too much pressure. I get totally stressed out about the holidays anyway, why add to it unnecessarily?
Our family has a long history of Bad Knit Gifts. I had a great aunt (my grandmother’s sister-in-law - that’s a great aunt, right? Oh, who knows) who, for reasons unknown, one year knit up a huge batch of the ugliest hats in the world. They were big long tubes sewn shut at each end, and I guess you were meant to tuck one end of the tube up into the other, to create a baggy, triangular hat, in shockingly unfashionable colors.
For many years, The Hats were passed around between my family members as white elephant gifts. The trick was to disguise the package so that no one would know that The Hats were inside.
Alas, The Hats finally ended up in the hands of someone who really liked them, and were thus taken out of circulation.
When I was a kid, I used to make holiday decorations by cutting apart plastic six-pack rings, wrapping them with green yarn, and tying on little knots of red yarn. Which, to my eight-year-old mind, was a passable representation of a holly wreath. Various family members probably still have these godawful tacky little things tucked away with their boxes of holiday decorations.
Guys, you can throw them away now. I won’t be hurt, I promise.
Submitted to The Carnival Of Knitting
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[…] cisely, who, causes knitting humbuggery rise up at Holiday time. It’s the ghost of Erika’s Great Aunt!” Erika reminds us of the misery caused by holiday knitting gone bad: Our […]
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12/29/2005 @ 11:43 am
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